#Also I've decided to try to source more of my stickers

[stick-by-me]

Just the two of us!

New follower sticker for: @nodrey!

[spacenerdyart]

finished flower pillarmen sticker set

these will be available for purchase online (TBA) and at Gamma expo in Canberra on the 9/10th of September. (Please consider following to keep an eye on online sale updates if you are interested, as I will be setting that up after the convention!)

Each sticker's flower choice was very specific, and I've decided to detail why I chose each one to explain the intricacies of each one to you. Please keep in mind I'm not a flower expert, this is just what I found online in my own research - my sources are at the bottom!

-

flower meanings

Kars

❥ Purple Roses symbolize royalty, luxury, and opulence, exuding mystery and charm. These flowers also evoke admiration and wonder. I chose these to reference Kars' wonder and mystery towards the sun, plus the regal and opulent vibes of Kars in his entirety worked well. ❥ Blue Roses symbolize mystery, secrecy, and pride. Their rarity, as well as their color, makes them unique among the other flowers in the garden. I feel like this references Kars' unique mindset well, and the fact that he was both a standout genius and a catalyst in the Pillarman tribe.

Esidisi

❥ Irises symbolize faith, hope, wisdom, and uncertainty. Its intricate shape and complex pattern make it hard to know what it is trying to say. I chose this flower to represent Esidisi's unpredictable and uncertain nature, and his unwavering loyalty and faith in Kars' plan. ❥ Bluebells symbolize humility, gratitude, and uncertainty (again). Bluebells also have a short and fleeting flowering period, which reminds us that all things in life are temporary. The bluebell captured Esidisi's story perfectly to me, so I not only used this to reaffirm his unpredictable nature, but to also encapsulate Esidisi as a whole.

Wamuu

❥ Poppies and Cornflowers together symbolize war. Cornflowers and poppies appeared on the battlefields at the end of the First World War, and for many symbolised the fragility of life and the hope of rebirth. As a warrior, I believe the combination of Poppies and Cornflowers together perfectly tie in with Wamuu's story, referencing his life as a warrior and his honorable end. ❥ Poppies symbolize commemoration and sacrifice, and are a common war memorial flower. ❥ White Cornflowers symbolize remembrance, innocence, sympathy, and mourning. Cornflowers come in a few different colours, however, and some more broader meanings include power, devotion, unity, and prosperity.

Santana

❥ Dahlias symbolize commitment, honesty, strength, and the ability to withstand harsh conditions. They can also symbolize the ability to stay kind despite being tested by certain life events, and when gifted, they could be a warning of a potential betrayal. They are also native to Mexico, and the Aztecs used this plant as a treatment against epilepsy. I chose these for multiple reasons. One, they are native to the same area that the Pillarmen originate from, and more specifically the place where Santana was born and where he fell. He withstood harsh conditions, having been left behind and treated poorly, and one could argue betrayed by those who raised him. Through it all, Santana is strong and sturdy- he was bested by Jojo, is the only remaining pillarman on Earth (although, held captive under UV light). ❥ Forget-me-nots symbolize remembrance and mourning traditionally, however they also carry several other meanings including grief, devotion, power, and intelligence I chose this flower for a few reasons again as well. One, the name- Santana is often forgotten, as he is so quickly introduced and then written off, however Santana plays a very important role in the series. But also, for the sadder side of the flower, it brings depth to how I believe Santana would have felt being left behind- sad, yet devoted still to the only kin he has.

sources for flower meanings: x x x x x x x x and general google answers

[birds-galore]

Do you have any advice for a complete novice wanting to take on a rescue cockatiel (adult but unknown age)? The zoo I work at has a cockatiel I've bonded with. He was originally surrendered by his owner and one of the keepers decided they wanted him so they took him home but then they got a larger parrot and didn't want him anymore so they gave him back to the zoo. He's VERY affectionate and clingy and loves head scritches but everyone is so busy working he doesn't get the attention he's so clearly craving. I'm debating asking them if I could take him home myself but I've never cared for any form of bird in a domestic setting so I have no idea what I'm getting myself into in terms of cost and care requirements. I do also have a cat but I have a big enough home to keep them separate and still give both enough space. I wouldn't normally consider taking an animal from a zoo but the enclosure he's in isn't heated and a lot of the birds in there have died from the cold recently (management is shit here, privately owned American zoo, go figure 🙄) so I'm a bit worried about him.

I'm sorry to hear that the zoo is mistreating and neglecting their birds! While most animals can acclimate to a range of temperatures, the general rule for cockatiels is to stay within the 65-75 degree range (roughly 18-23 degrees Celsius). Dropping too far below that can lead to weakness, decreased appetite, illness, and death. If you think the cockatiel is in immediate danger from cold exposure, then please relocate them to a warmer habitat ASAP. Even if you decide you cannot care for the bird long-term, it is much better for them to be safe than dead as you search for a suitable home, whether that home is with you or someone else.

Here are the basics for cockatiel care:

Make sure you have a flight cage. My local avian rescue lists the absolute minimum requirements as: 24″L x 20"W x 24″H with ½” bar spacing. Pixel's cage is: 31.1"L x 20.4"W x 52.0"H.

Cockatiels need a minimum of 3 hours a day outside their cage, or with their cage door open. They need more than 3 hours in the company of people, which can mean staying in the same room with them whenever you are home, or relocating their cage so they can be near you.

Make sure you eliminate common household hazards: never run a ceiling fan with your bird out of the cage, cover up windows with blinds or add stickers, make sure there are no open water sources, bowls, toilets, etc, cover up exposed wires, monitor your bird when it is outside the cage. NEVER use teflon cookware, candles, air fresheners, perfumes, and aerosol sprays.

Make sure you have a variety of perches. The general rule is to add 2 or 3 action perches (boings, hammocks, and swings) as well as multiple different textured perches (a flat perch, rope, wood, etc.). Offering only plain dowel rods can cause discomfort and arthritis. Always monitor your bird's interactions with action perches before leaving them alone. DO NOT put fleece blankets or cozy huts in the cage. These are a safety issue.

Add a variety of toys including confetti shredders, woodblocks, cardboard, etc. Make sure all are safe for birds and monitor your bird's interactions with toys before leaving them alone.

Fresh water daily. Sometimes multiple times per day if your bird soils it with food, poop, etc.

Spot clean the cage daily, switch out the cage material (newspaper, liners) weekly.

If you are transitioning your bird's diet, you need to do it slowly. Introduce your bird to new food by incrementally mixing it in with the old food. The healthiest diet is to transition your cockatiel from seeds to pellets. Feel free to message me if you need advice on recommended diets/brands.

Cockatiels enjoy fresh leafy greens. Try to feed spinach, broccoli, kale in addition to the normal diet of seeds/pellets.

Cockatiels need about 10 hours of darkness every night to regulate their hormonal cycles. Consider buying a cage cover. Set a schedule for sleep.

You already mentioned it, but never introduce the bird to your cat or any other predatory animal.

More info on budgeting and disclaimers under the cut!

As for costs, they vary. I can itemize what I pay for Pixel's care (not including boarding expenses or the cost of her travel cage):

$80-100: flight cage & $20 for a cage cover (one time expense)

$30 for perches (one time expense)

$30: for food (roughly every 2-3 months, so ~$120 a year)

$30 for nail trims at the vet every 3 months (again ~$120 a year)

$60 for her annual vet exam

$10 a month for additional toys and perches (it varies, but probably totals around $100 a year).

This breaks down to a one-time expense of roughly $130 for the cage setup, and an annual cost of about $400 per year. You also need extra funds saved in the case of illness or emergency.

Now that basic care is out of the way, I have some additional disclaimers about life with a cockatiel:

Cockatiels can live up to 30 years.

Will you be able to spend several hours per day with the cockatiel?

If the cockatiel's needs are still unmet even with your full attention, would you be willing to adopt another cockatiel to keep it company?

Are you sensitive to loud noises? Keep in mind that cockatiels will scream for attention. They also make "contact calls" to locate members of their flock when they are out of sight (in this case, you). If you spend most of your time in the house outside of your cockatiel's sightlines, then you will have a very noisy, frustrated bird!

Is there a nearby avian vet? Can you afford expensive vet bills?

What will you do during the holidays or if you are traveling?

I hope this was helpful. You have a good heart, and I hope the cockatiel finds somewhere warm where they can receive all of the scratches their heart desires! Please don't hesitate to message me if you want more detailed educational materials or explanations.

[combeferres-mothematics]

ANOTHER fic question hehehehe....im so interested in ur Joly sick fic actually....did he manage to diagnose himself!! Did no one believe him until he actually started showing clear symptoms and he was like "I told you so!! 🤮🤮"....and...is he gonna get better? 🥺

LKJAFSKJHLSLFHALKJFHSAGLK OKAY YOU'RE GONNA BE IN FOR A RIDE. I have not only one, but multiple (this remains to be known how many) Joly sickfics XD

Once again below a cut because... I'm scared of how many I'm going to find in my drafts- (Sickfics mayyy be my favorite thing to write)

Even the Darkest Nights will End (I shortened the title significantly here lmao) - The one I talk about the most, and thought was ALMOST done... almost 2k words ago... (Enjolras, Joly, and Grantaire are now bothering Combeferre for stickers, so idek what's happening anymore) The summery is quite old, I think I wrote it 300 words in, and with a 103 degree fever (which is how this whole fic started tbh) XD This has also been one of my pet projects since... uhh... january? so there's a LOT of lore

It starts out with him just sitting in bed trying (keyword trying) to sleep, he's already very clearly ill, He's already home tested himself for several different things, and they all came back negative, so he's very adamantly trying to convince himself that it's just a cold, nothing worse. He's banished Bossuet to a different bed in hopes that he won't get sick (He will. It's inevitable, they share EVERYTHING), and he's feeling very lonely :((

And I've noticed, at least in my experience, that anxiety about these things is SO MUCH worse when it's the middle of the night, and everyone's asleep, and you don't want to wake anyone up to talk you down from thinking it's worse than it really is. This is the really angsty part of the fic if you can't tell already XD

Plus, a little snippet, I don't think I've shared anywhere yet! (do be warned mentions of worrying about throwing up)

Enter Enjolras: He's working late, and when he sees Joly he's very worried he's getting a lecture on healthy sleep habits (I say as if I know what good sleep habits are) And then as soon as he sees that Joly's been crying he instantly launches into "Oh shit my friend is anxious time to fuss over them" mode"

He and Joly proceed to have a very nice conversation that was surprisingly theraputic to write (I may have projected just a tad), and then Enj decides he's going to get Joly a little something small to eat. at 4am. Leading to one of my favorite scenes here XD

And now we have Combeferre!! :D And Joly's feeling a bit more cheerful now that he's not alone, left to stew in his anxiety.

I forgot I wrote this, but now I'm cackling over the mental image of lost duckling Enjy

Combeferre quickly banishes Enjolras because he's hovering, and things get angsty for a minute again (NOT RELATED TO THE BANISHMENT OF ENJ)

And here's Enjolras being autistic about the way Ferre's clothes smell :)

And then everything is good again, and Joly and Enj manage to convince Ferre to give them a sticker (And then Grantaire comes in to be like "If you give me a sticker too, I won't tell any of the others you gave out stickers")

And that's where this one ends off, so far lol. Joly does in fact get better in this one :D

AND THEN WE HAVE THIS ONE :D (don't mind the title or summery, I started it after being awake for 30+ hours)

This one is nowhere near as developed as ETDNWE, but it's a Everyone Lives, No One Dies au set in canon era, about ehhhhhh, maybe 3-5 months after the barricades? I'm still researching when Cholera ended there, and I think I found that there was another, very small jump in cases around Nov. 1832 (where all of them died), but don't quote me on that, I haven't looked at those sources in a while, so I could be misremembering.

Joly ofc is very nervous when the symptoms here start, since.. Cholera. But Bossuet keeps trying to gently assure him it's going to be alright/maybe it's just anxiety

But then things are worse by morning, and Joly scares the absolute Crap out of Bossuet by refusing to tell him what he thinks he has. He KNOWS. what it is though, he's seen it enough times for there to be no mistake whatsoever.

And Bossuet proceeds to leave the house before even getting dressed (Though he does grab his hat on the way out) And heads to go to the house on Rue Plumet to find Enjolras, who ofc will know where Combeferre is, cutting down the search time significantly.

(This is indeed and Enjosette siblings au as well)

And that's about as far as I've plotted for that one. and as for if Joly will be alright... >:3 We will see. *ominous voice*

Ty for the ask!! :D I always love discussing the sickfics XD, and now I'm very workpilled for both of them, so we'll see how that goes-

[md3artjournal]

9:15 PM 12/2/2023

I've been thinking of giving up on drawing fanart or even human figures. I just don't have the confidence to compete in the fanart space, doing character art. I barely have confidence to promote myself as an artist of my original art that I've already done. And frankly, I've had so many negative experiences in fandom by now, I feel like I've probably burned bridges I don't know about, and people would not only not want my fanart, but actively disdain the idea of any art coming from me because of my fandom opinions. I mean, one of the top artists in that ship blocked me on Tumblr, after all. (Maybe they didn't like that I like Bottomitri? Maybe they found my hidden posts about enjoying a quick laugh out of jokes about DMCL being teasing, tsundere, and/or flirty, but actually preferring headcanoning them differently. I really don't know.) Like, I already have stickers made of one of my favorite claumitri fanarts, but I'm so reluctant to post in the tags to ask if the fandom wants to buy any, because I feel like that fandom hates me (with a few exceptions).

I've been thinking for some time, about rebranding. I'm thinking of focusing on my sketches of my photography. It's mostly photos of my backyard's flowers and the sky. (Maybe I should go out to Angeles National Forest to take some photos of landscapes. I live across the street from there, after all.) After I found out I couldn't make any merch of my tiger sketches, my best illustrations, because they were based on other people's photos, I started taking my own source photos for reference. But the only subjects I have are my backyard. I'm kind of too socially anxious to leave my house for the past several years. But my flower sketches have turned out pretty well. I just wish I had done more. And I also take photos of the sky: clouds, dusk, etc. So I want to start trying to draw sketches of the sky too.

I subscribe to all these YouTube artists who talk about the small business side of being an artist, and I just don't have the guts to do any of the advice they're giving, because I don't have any confidence in my art. Because I don't have any confidence in myself.

I once told someone that I'll probably WANT to return to an office job, by the time I NEED to return to an office job. (Something like that; I can't remember anymore.) I think I need to return to an office job. I mean, I still have money. But not enough to comfortably outsource and invest in stocking items for sales. I try to hit sticker producers' sales, but I couldn't make the last one in time, and what if it takes a while before the next sale like that in my price range? But if I can't stock enough for a store, then do I just give up? But then I'm still stuck with the same problem I had, when I first decided to try to make my living as an artist:

I just can't be happy not doing art. Even if I'm bad at it. I spent so much time at offices, having excess money, secure with employer sponsored medical insurance, and I had everything everyone said I needed to be happy. Yet, I was still self-destructive and my suicidal ideation crept back. Not as bad as during school---I had improved from cutting myself, to simply digging my nails into my skin or clenching my hands in ways that hurt my joints---but I could feel it coming back again. That's when I decided that if I was too tired after work to do art, and art was what I needed to do to feel life was worthwhile, then art needed to be my job.

But I'm just not good at it. Maybe I don't want it enough. Otherwise, wouldn't I be studying and training more? But I just can't get myself to work hard at it. My dad said once that when you're really into something, you'll automatically find yourself working hard at it without trying. Well, I found myself doing that with art in college. But now, I'm not doing that with art anymore. At least, not at the level I should be. There are people studying so hard in their spare time, that they post astronomical leaps in their 1-year-progression posts on social media. I'm not doing that. Why aren't I working as hard as that?

But I can't go back to an office job. I don't want to go back to feeling suicidal. I don't want to go back to school, because that DEFINITELY made me suicidal and self-destructive (at least at those levels). I don't want to go back to feeling that way again.

But I guess I still have suicidal ideation now. One little mistake today with some grownup responsibilities, and my thoughts are already spiraling about how I'm not cut out for being alive. But if I'm not happy while doing art, nor while not doing art, then maybe I really am not cut out for being alive. I've lost the guts to be actively trying to suicide, as I did when I was in school. But maybe I was onto something. But like I said, I still just don't have the guts for anything. But I'm also not cut-out for being alive.

9:34 PM 12/2/2023

Anyway, I just wanted to remind myself to try sketching my sky/cloud photographs.

11:32 PM 12/4/2023

I've started actually browsing how to get a library job. I've talked several times, on an off, throughout my life, about working at a library. Though, technically, I've already worked at a library during college. It was nice. A lot of times throughout my life, but especially during college, the library was the only place I could be. I had too much social anxiety to go to my dorm and all the communal spaces to hang out were social. (One time, I was racing to study for a test, in one of those communal spaces and religious solicitors took up my precious little study time, trying to recruit me. Ugh.) The library was the only place I could go to be undisturbed, sit down, be warm, and rest---Not that they had enough seating for that, most of the time. But it was still a reprieve my my endless walking around campus, because most spaces aren't built for non-social people. When I was little, I used to be a big bookworm, and constantly beg my mom to drive me to the library again and again. But I learned to hate reading in high school, so I thought I couldn't work at the library. All the library job listings required degrees that looked like they entailed a LOT of reading. And I just can't do that anymore. But my elderly mom got a job at the library for a few years a long time ago, despite her lack of a Library Science degree. So lately I've been reconsidering a quiet life with a library job or any unassuming job, with art as my hobby. Maybe art would be better as a hobby. Less pressure to be on parr with the "competition", and more freedom to feel proud of doing better than me from the past. But then the old fears creep in again about a job taking all my time and energy, until I can't do the things that make my life feel worthwhile, and then I'm self-destructive again.

Anyway, I should at least open an Etsy shop and make some more stickers. I'm really leaning towards rebranding. Maybe into multiple brands, to include my figure photography.

After all, since my figure photography keeps winning contests and features online, then doesn't that mean my best art, the art I should be focusing on, is my figure photography? I've been thinking for a while to start a YouTube side channel for my figure photography. I can be objectively aware that my figure photography isn't exactly the best, especially compared to all the other figure photographers out there. But since it keeps winning recognition, doesn't that mean that people like it enough? Maybe I should be doing something with it? Or at least taking it more seriously. I don't even have an Instagram solely focused on my figure photography! I don't even have a DLSR!

There used to be a figure videography channel I loved called fullOanime, who made figure showcase videos that reminded me of the cosplay music videos that I watched a lot of, at that time. Fulloanime deleted all their figure videos and rebranded, but I always wanted to watch videos like that again. I began to want to make figure videography music videos, like cosplay videographers. (For a long time, I WAS a cosplay videographer. Just not the ones with gyroscopes, making music videos. I just documented cosplay gatherings.) Something for myself to rewatch, the way I used to repeatedly rewatch fullOanime's figure showcases. So often, I see the Nendoroid YouTubers I Follow, talk about how no one is watching their unboxing videos. So even though people have told me that my collection is diverse enough to make a good unboxing channel, I've felt reluctant. (But mostly because i like taking my time, documenting my unboxings for myself, so i can be sure if any damage or missing pieces were like that straight out of the box. I dontwant to redirect focuson turning unboxing into a video, versus documentationfir my records. But also others make it sound hopeless. I don'tneed more of that feeling.) And even the ones doing figure showcases, just aren't using the rewatchable style that fullOanime or cosplay videographers do. It's usually just the figure spinning on a rotating pedestal. Granted, some Nendoroid showcase channels I'm subscribed to, do that well. But I am craving a showcase that is just as interesting as a cosplay music video. I want those videos back, to rewatch over and over, like cosplay music videos or fullOanime's figure showcases. But it's becoming increasingly clear that I guess I'll have to do it myself. But I'm not a film editor! I used to draw comics and people from the animation college would compliment it as "storyboards", but it's been a LONG time since I lost that skill.

So should I make a figure photography YouTube channel about DIY miniature crafts for photoshoot props? Because I do that too. Not to the extent of diorama makers and the figure photographers who assemble entire miniature model buildings from scratch. But just the simple stuff. …Maybe I should make a channel about lazy miniature crafts and the most simple diorama backdrops? lol

Basically, i wonder if I'd be better off with art as just a hobby. I love seeing other artists doing well with their business and making beautiful things. But i don't enjoy knowing that's the bar i have to reach to make a living. Because i can't do it.

[roseverdict]

drops this here and runs lmao

〜

Splinter was jolted awake by a crashing sound, followed by multiple unfamiliar voices.

"Ughhh…what'd that thingy do? My head hurts."

He scrambled from his chair and bolted for the voices.

They were coming from the boys' room.

"Well, if you'd been listening to me, you'd know we should have teleported to April's house! Considering the fact that someone decided to switch out my fuel source, though, who knows where we ended up?"

Splinter hadn't attempted to use any of his childhood training in a couple years, but silence still came to him almost too easily as he approached the boys' room.

"Ack! My phone's being all weird when I try to check my texts! Guess letting Apes or CJ know we're having a problem is off the table. Greeeat."

"Can somebody turn on the lights? I've got color vision, not night vision!"

Splinter tried to assure himself that, while he could barely make out anything of what the teenaged voices were saying, what little he did understand seemed to point to them unintentionally arriving in his home rather than purposefully breaking in where his boys were napping.

…somehow.

His tail darted into the room and flicked the light switch.

The voices all squawked at the sudden light, but Splinter just froze.

His eyesight had yet to recover fully from his mutation, but even the blurry shapes and colors were enough to light a fire in him.

They were big. Far too big.

It was impossible.

The four large turtle shapes scrambled upright, and Splinter found himself staring at each of them in shock.

The largest of them, standing easily head and shoulders above Splinter's original height, back when he could still call himself Lou Jitsu, with a unique little snaggletooth in the corner of his mouth, and wearing a red bandana over his head like a traditional Hamato warrior.

The smallest of them, just a few inches shorter than Splinter was now but with stickers decorating his plastron that were familiar in the way the colors popped, even if Splinter had never actually seen the stickers themselves before, and with an orange mask tied around his eyes and ending in a bow.

The two in-between their brothers' heights, one with red markings peeking out from a blue mask and standing with a fake nonchalance, the other with a purple bandana and metallic goggles shifted up onto his head.

"My boys…? What…?" Splinter breathed.

For their part, the four turtles all shared a wince.

Purple frowned and inspected a glowing panel hovering by his forearm. "Hm. You know, after Casey first showed up, we probably should have expected more time travel to be on the agenda. In retrospect, I'm shocked it took this long."

"Wait, wait, waitwaitwait, real time travel?" asked Blue in disbelief. "Not some sort of trip down mystic memory lane, but actual time travel?"

"Affirmative," Purple said.

Orange got a starry-eyed look to his face that only hammered home that these were definitely Splinter's sons. "Coooool…"

"Mikey, you're forbidden from trying your mystic hands to get us back to the present unless we've all agreed there's no other option," said Red with finality, as if pre-emptively cutting off the idea.

"Seconded," added Blue. "Definitely a last resort only sorta dealie, there."

Orange saluted. "Aye-aye, capitáns!"

"So…it's really you?" Splinter asked, looking between the boys as the realization fully hit. "Wait- where are the babies?"

"Babies?!" Red squeaked.

The four looked around in shock for a moment, then Blue swallowed. "Well, the good news is, I don't think we squished 'em. Er, us."

Purple was already consulting his glowing panel again. "If my readings are correct- and they're my readings, of course they're correct- then it looks like when my equipment surged and sent us back, it also brought four ninpo signatures forward that are identical to ours, save for their miniscule size and unawakened status."

"So we swapped?" asked Orange.

Purple nodded. "Correct."

Instantly, the boys relaxed, and Red turned to Splinter. "You- uh, well, our you- was with us when the accident happened, just a bit further away. He oughta be aware of the swap and able to get Baby Us out of Donnie's lab and somewhere he can keep an eye on us. I think we're as safe as we can be."

"Aside from the inevitable mass of blackmail photos that April takes once she realizes she can dress Baby Us up in every single overly-adorable outfit she can find," Blue moaned.

Splinter frowned thoughtfully. "You've mentioned that name twice now, this 'April.' Who is she?"

Blue took out a small rectangle- clearly, this was his 'phone,' though it was nowhere near as blocky as the phones Splinter saw humans carrying these days- and tapped at it for a moment, then turned it to face him. "She's the one Mikey's squished up next to here."

Splinter took the device and inspected the massive display.

Shown in full color was a photo of what could only be himself and his boys, lit by the golden rays of sunrise. Or possibly sunset- it was difficult to tell.

Also featured prominently were two humans Splinter did not recognize in the slightest. One was dressed in a cloak and a mask that was flipped away from his face, and he and Blue had arms over each other's shoulders.

The other had, indeed, squished her cheek up next to Orange's, both of them beaming.

The version of himself in the photo was older and grayer (and shorter…and plumper…), but he was smiling in such a way that Splinter realized he knew about the humans' proximity to his boys and was glad for it.

"How old are Baby Us? We should probably know before we say anything else too indicative of events that have yet to pass for you, since we didn't come back in time with the intent to change it," Purple explained, cutting off that train of thought.

Splinter turned his attention away from Blue's device and looked up at his sons. "Orange is one, Blue and Purple are two, and Red, you're three."

"Overly-adorable baby outfits," repeated Blue in a horrified whisper.

"Fourteen years back, eh?" Purple said at the same time. "Not particularly ideal, but I can work with that."

Fourteen years…so that meant Orange was fifteen, and the others were a year or two older than even that.

Splinter handed Blue back his oddly-thin phone, then looked, really looked, at the boys.

Purple stood stiffly, his eyes never leaving the panel on his arm as he tapped away. Part of it was just his natural way of motion, Splinter was sure, but occasionally he would shift in place and wince, as if his shell rubbed up against something he disliked. Yet he was only wearing armor accented in his trademark color- most likely of his own design. Curious.

There was a shimmering patch in Red's carapace, just over his left shoulder, and there was a scar along that very shoulder that seemed to have come from the same injury. Additionally, Red's right eye seemed to have a hard time focusing in sync with his left whenever he turned his head.

Blue seemed the worst off, in terms of how many physical injuries he seemed to have. The faintest rings of bruising dotted his skin between yellowish crescents that more closely resembled natural coloration. Hairline cracks spread from multiple places in his plastron, thin enough to clearly be already on the mend but numerous enough for Splinter's heart to skip a beat.

Even Orange had not escaped whatever-had-happened unscathed. Scarring in a geometric pattern that Splinter could have recognized in his sleep extended from his fingers all the way up to his elbows, and with a minute gasp, Splinter realized that Red and Purple each had an arm with matching scars.

And Orange's hands trembled, even as he smiled and seemed completely happy.

Orange loved to work with his hands, even as small as he was supposed to be.

Splinter didn't realize he'd taken Orange's hands in his own until he was already folding the boy's fingers back to steady them.

"Pops…?" asked Red quietly.

Splinter swallowed. "Oh, my sons…what has happened to you?"

I am in the need of an au/fic in which the rottmnt boys switch places with their kid selves

I mean post movie, overly traumatized mystic teenage turtle boys switching places with small kids who have no idea what's a head of them

I really want to see past splinter be fucking broken when he learns about all the shit his son's have gone through. He'd probably feel like he failed, he failed to protect them from his family legacy, he failed to keep them safe from all of the shit the world put them through, he'd probably have a full break down because of it

Meanwhile present splinter is enjoying the presence of his younger boys while also bieng mildly concerned for his older ones

Also we need draxum to hang out with the tots no exceptions

[linearmoss]

how goes the magpie cloaking? on a related note, do you happen to have any tips for someone attempting a similar project?

Okay so somehow I missed this so uhhhhhh sorry about that! BUT boy howdy does it goes well! Here are some photos from the latest batch I took:

Here is the full jacket in a progress image! The patches haven't been sewn on yet but I started arranging them to see how they'd look and decide roughly where I want them. The "I Voted"-sticker patch is my favorite :)

I mostly tried to keep it pretty random -- I didn't want a "fantasy creatures" or "animals" section on the jacket, for instance -- but I had a few minor exceptions. See:

Cursed sword that happened to go really well with this patch I made forever ago.

Sex jokes. (The one on the left is a tagline for a nonprofit, though they changed it recently. If you don't get it try saying it out loud.)

Fishies! Fish are such social creatures in how they school that it's just cruel to separate them, after all.

It was fun to put together little pieces that match, though I'm still not planning on having more themes -- the point of the Magpie Cloak is for it to be eclectic, not planned out, at least for me.

As for tips, I have a few! Here's what I'm thinking off the top of my head:

Pins take up way less space than you think they do. I thought I had a sizeable collection and realized I have a long way to go -- I've covered maybe half or even a third of my goal! That said, I want it to feel more like chain-mail than fabric by the end, so yeah. Patches are your friend for this.

Put it on periodically as you're assembling it. This is for two reasons: one, the fabric hangs a lot differently when it's covered in metal; I actually had two jackets to choose from for this, and was originally going to go for the nicer of the two but I didn't like how the pins changed how the fabric draped, so I'm assembling the other one instead. Secondly, the pins are... potentially kinda uncomfortable depending on what they use as a backing and where they are. When I tried it on with a tank top I realized the metal backing for an enamel pin I had on my shoulder was super scratchy and annoying. Still have to decide if I'm going to move it or just... not wear it with a tank top? We'll see

Laying it all out is a good choice, but when you're happy with the patches, sew them on, and well! For heavier-duty things (I have a decal that's not a pin I intend to hand sew on) I've been recommended using upholstery thread, since it's less likely to break. But yeah, sew those on; it totally changes the look once you start wearing it to try it out. I wasn't happy with it until I put the first patches on

If you're going the route of trying to source pins, talk to people, especially relatives! I mentioned this project and showed off to my grandparents and got literally dozens of pins from their past, including some from when my grandpa was in the army and a flower pin my great-grandma used to wear (none pictured, but will be added in the future...). Now people keep giving me pins as a gift for FREE which is, obviously, the best price to pay for pins. Also, far more importantly, going over the family history of these items has been super meaningful. I am actually so excited to be able to carry all these tiny pieces of family history with me :)

Anyways. Hope that's illuminating and not terribly ramble-y. Feel free to ask more questions (I love talking about this) and also please tell me more about your project too!! I wanna hear more about this mysterious similar project :0

[themetaphorgirl]

(1/1) This is at_the_chamber_door from A03. I've got a Boarding Alternate Universe headcanon--study groups! Maybe if everyone's loaded with work, projects, or upcoming tests, they'll get together at night (preferably at a round table, ha) and work. Well, work-ish: The only people actually working the entire time are Hotch, Alex, and JJ. I'm running out of characters so I shall send another ask with a part 2!

drabbles are supposed to be short. this is about 2,000 words. oops.

I hope y’all like it though! I love these kids with my whole heart.

my writing tag | the boarding school AU

----------

JJ rifled through her piles of papers, frowning. Her biology info packet was in there somewhere, she just knew it. But maybe she could wait and work on biology later, maybe she should work on history first.

“Okay, you guys, I’m starting to freak out,” Penelope said, knocking over her stack of rainbow-colored gel pens. “How bad are midterms? Like...really. What should I expect?”

“They’re not bad, as long as you study,” Hotch said absently.

Penelope dropped the gel pens she’d started to pick up. “I’ve forgotten how to study!” she shrieked. “Oh my god! Everything in my brain has been erased!”

Spencer perked up. “Ooh! It could be lacunar amnesia!” he said. “That’s when-”

“Spencer, no,” Hotch sighed. 

“Take a breath, baby girl,” Derek said, scooping up the pens and handing them back. “You’re smart, you’ll remember stuff.”

She set the pens back into rainbow order. “You say that now,” she said. “What if I do forget? Or I forget which exam is at which time? Oh, god, what if I sleep through them!”

“You’re not going to sleep through them,” JJ reassured her. “I’ll wake you up.”

She turned back to her own piles of notes and worksheets. This was the sixth time that Penelope had freaked out in the last two hours, and doubtless she’d freak out a few more times until midterms were over. At least since they were studying together, other people could chime in and help calm her down.

They’d agree collectively to spend Sunday studying together for their respective tests. As a group they had overtaken the seventh floor common room, lounging around in their pajamas, piling up textbooks and coffee cups and snacks. Hotch, Alex, and Spencer sat at the round table while Dave sat between James and Emily on the couch; Penelope and Derek sprawled on the rug in front of the silent television. JJ had claimed a corner of the room for herself, spreading out her papers in small piles.

James pulled his binder close to his chest and frowned. “Dave, are you copying off me?” he asked.

“No, never,” Dave said. He ate another handful of pretzels. “Absolutely not. I’m copying off Emily.”

James squinted at Dave’s mostly-empty notebook page. “You are copying off me!” he accused. “Do your own work, Rossi, Jesus.”

“Okay, then I will copy off Emily,” Dave said. “And she won’t know because she’s listening to music.”

“Fuck off,” Emily said absently, her airpods still tucked in her ears.

“She’s not even in any of your classes,” James pointed out.

Dave shrugged. “Whatever, it’s fine,” he said. “I’ll get into college either way.”

Penelope dropped her sticker-covered composition book. “Oh, god! What if I don’t get into college?” she said.

“You’ll get into college, Pen,” Alex said. “Don’t look so far ahead. Focus on this week’s tests.”

Penelope huffed in frustration. “JJ, do you have your notes from biology class?” she asked.

“Uh...yeah, somewhere,” she said. She rummaged through a stack. “Hold on…”

“JJ, can you find anything in there?” James asked. “It looks like everything you own exploded.”

“I have a system,” she explained.

“You can borrow my notes!” Spencer said. He leaned forward to stretch across the table; Alex caught him before he could tip out of his chair. “Here! Do you have any questions?”

Penelope frowned. “That’s it?” she said. “A single piece of paper? And...your handwriting is completely illegible.”

He shrugged. “It makes sense to me,” he said.

“Spencer, sit down before you fall on your face,” Hotch said. “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

Dave threw a pretzel at Emily. “Hey! She’s not studying!” he said. “Repeat, Emily Prentiss is not studying!”

“Narc,” she shot back, scooping pretzels off the couch and throwing them back at his face.

“Everyone!” Dave said, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Emily Prentiss is online shopping! Shopping for-” He leaned over her shoulders. “She’s bidding on a seventy-five dollar tee shirt on eBay.”

Emily slammed the lid of her macbook shut. “That tour got canceled after three stops, it’s a collector’s item!” she said.

“Emily, didn’t your mom say that she was going to cancel your credit card if you got below a C on your history midterm?” Alex asked, tapping her pen against her chin.

“Just the Amex,” Emily shrugged. “Also, that pen isn’t capped.”

“Oh! Shit.”

Spencer frowned. “Can I borrow somebody’s computer really fast?” he asked. “I don’t think this source is correct.”

“Here, munchkin,” Emily said, holding out her macbook. “Just for Miller’s satisfaction, I’ll study for my history test. You can borrow it for now.”

Hotch caught the laptop from Spencer’s small hands and set it down on the table. Spencer squinted at the keyboard. “Where’s the control key?” he asked.

“It’s a macbook, squirt, it’s a command key.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “God, see, this is why I stick to my chromebook,” she said. “Everything makes sense.”

“Your chromebook is the size of a novel.”

“I know, it’s easy to carry.”

Spencer scrunched up his face, pecking at the keyboard letter by letter with his index fingers. “Can somebody type this for me?” he asked. Hotch silently pulled the laptop closer and typed as Spencer spelled out his question.

With Emily distracted by her argument, JJ stole her pillow from the couch and propped it up with her piles of papers, getting comfortable. She bit back a yawn. Studying was exhausting work. 

“Okay, I’m done,” Spencer announced. “You can have your computer back, Emily.”

“Thank god, there’s only ten minutes left in this auction and I need this shirt,” she said. Alex rolled her eyes and put on her headphones. 

Derek pushed himself off the floor. “Pretty boy, if you’re taking a break-”

“Oh, it’s not a break, I’ve memorized everything.”

“Show off,” Dave grinned.

“Okay, since you’ve memorized everything, you wanna go down to the vending machine in the lobby and get more drinks?” Derek continued. Spencer frowned. “You can pick out something for yourself.”

“Deal!” Spencer said. Derek handed him a handful of crumpled dollar bills.

“Hold on, caro,” Dave said. He dug out his wallet and handed him several more dollars. “Get enough for everybody.”

“Thanks!” Spencer said, and he took off, his little socked feet thumping down the stairs.

“Walk, please, before you faceplant again!” Hotch called. The footsteps faded, but did not slow down. Hotch sighed.

“Derek,” Penelope said. “Derek. Derek Morgan. Chocolate thunder. Pay attention to me.”

“What?” 

She thrust a folded paper fortune teller in his face. “Pick one!” she said.

“Pick one what?”

“You have four options, pick one!”

JJ raised an eyebrow. “You’re making cootie catchers?” she said. “I thought you were worried about getting into college.”

“First of all, where I come from, we call them fortune tellers,” Penelope said. “Second of all, I’ve decided I’m not going to college, I will never be able to pass these tests, so I will never get a college degree, so I will just play my ukulele on street corners for the rest of my life.”

“You can always get a college degree and play your ukulele on street corners,” Dave pointed out.

“Derek, please, pick one,” Penelope begged.

He looked at the phrases. “Uh…koala bear, I guess,” he said.

“Now pick a number.”

“Um...three.”

Penelope unfolded the fortune. “You will fail your midterms, flunk out of school, and play the dulcimer in Penelope Garcia’s busking band,” she read. “Oh, that’ll work out nicely.” Derek shook his head. 

Spencer ran up the stairs, arms laden down with soda cans. “I’m back!” he said. He dumped them on the floor. “Maybe don’t open them right this second. The carbonation-”

“We’re cramming enough knowledge in our heads today, we don’t need an extra lesson,” Emily said, scowling at her history textbook.

Spencer’s lower lip dropped in a pout. “Don’t make that face,” Hotch warned. “We’ve talked about how sometimes it’s a bad time for facts.”

“I’m not pouting. And there’s never a bad time for facts.”

“Yes, there is,” Derek said. “Like now, when we’re all trying to study.”

“Except me, I’m going to join the circus,” Penelope informed them.

“I’m trying to study too, you guys,” JJ called from her fortress of papers and books.

James rubbed his temples. “Guys...please…” Dave threw a pretzel at him. “Goddammit, David.”

“I was just trying to explain that the carbonation-”

“No!” Emily said, tossing a pillow at Spencer. It bopped him in the face and knocked him backwards.

“Jesus, Emily!” Derek exclaimed.

Hotch buried his face in his hands. “For the love of god, you guys, stop.” he said.

“I’m sorry!” Emily said. “Spencer, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to smack you, you were just really getting on my nerves, please don’t tell Alex.”

Alex looked up from her chromebook and took out her earbuds. “Hm?” she said. “What’s going on?”

“Emily hit-”

“Penelope said-”

“David threw-”

“Oh my god,” Alex said. “Okay, okay, stop. Just...stop, everybody. One at a time, please.”

Hotch dragged his hands over his face. “I just want a little peace and quiet,” he mumbled into his palms. 

“Spence, I’m sorry, really,” Emily said earnestly. “Are you okay?”

Spencer sat up. “To quote Anne Shirley...I am well in body but distinctly rumpled in spirit,” he said, rubbing his eyes. 

“What’s the translation?” Emily asked.

He pushed himself up off the floor. “You threw a pillow at my face, and I think I’m mad about it!” he accused. “And yes, I know I’m pouting, and I don’t care!”

“Oh, now you’ve done it, Prentiss,” Dave said.

Hotch got up from the table and stomped over to them. “That’s enough,” he said. He picked up Spencer under his arms and plunked him down on Alex’s lap. “Emily, you are six years older than him. Chill.” Dave snickered. “Dave, stop making it worse.” 

“Penelope, you’re not going to busk on street corners or join the circus, if you take a second and stop freaking out you’ll realize that you know more than you think you do,” James added. 

“Yes! Thank you,” Hotch said. “Derek, you need to take this seriously. You have to keep your grades up or they’ll move you from varsity down to JV. And Wallace will get your spot.”

Derek scowled. “Fuck Wallace,” he grumbled.

“And JJ…” Hotch paused. 

“What?” she said. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“No, you’re the most well-behaved, but...why are you upside down?”

JJ blinked. She hadn’t realized how she got there, but sure enough, she was lying on a scattered heap of worksheets with her heels propped up on the wall. “I don’t know, these things happen,” she said. Hotch sighed.

Emily scrambled off the couch. “Okay, okay, I know tensions are running really high right now,” she said. “And I know some of it is my fault-”

“You knocked me over like a bowling pin,” Spencer sulked.

Alex adjusted him on her lap. “I think you’ll live,” she said, and he crossed his arms. 

“Stop reminding me! Jesus, I’m trying to apologize!” Emily said. “What if I order pizza for everybody? It’s almost dinner time anyway and we’re all stressed, we should take a break. Will I finally be forgiven?”

Spencer opened his mouth to argue. “Yes,” JJ said immediately. She rolled over to sit up, shifting her papers around. “Oh my god, yes, please.”

“I’ll always vote for pizza,” Derek said.

Penelope looked down at the half-a-dozen fortune tellers scattered around her. “Maybe a break will help me focus again,” she said sadly.

Emily crouched down next to Alex’s chair. “Spencer?” she said sweetly. “Am I forgiven?” He huffed, blowing a lock of hair off his forehead. She poked him lightly. “Am I? Am? Am I?”

His mouth tilted. “Can I tell you the facts I was going to say?” he asked.

Emily sighed. “Yes,” she said. “Go ahead, Dr. Reid. Tell me everything you know about carbonation.”

“You brought this on yourself, Prentiss,” Hotch pointed out.

“I know. I know.”

[demonsforfriends]

Just having a quiet moment to myself to sit and think about everything that's happened in the last week or so, and reflect on what's going on in my life right now.

It's been 3 weeks now since I've been in isolation and it's been a blessing in disguise. I didn't realise how much I needed time to just hermit and be at home and not mixing with the outside world. It's been over 3 weeks since I dissociated last, and that's something of a record for me. Even though we're having money worries, the same as everyone else, anxiety levels have dropped significantly.

Last week, we hit a bit of a bump. Well, a big bump actually. While anxiety has been a lot more manageable, there's been a lot of random depressive spells, and last week out of nowhere, I hit a wall, completely snapped, and made a really irrational, split second decision to end my life, and just went out on autopilot. For a moment, I was completely overwhelmed, felt like I was the source of all that's wrong with everything, felt like everyone's lives would be better without me in it and was just completely exhausted with the state of the world.

I struggle to do and understand a lot of things. Basic things, like working out how I feel, and talking about it, and dealing and acting on a single emotion. Feeding myself when I'm hungry. Showering when I need to. Understanding people's feelings and intentions. It's so difficult and confusing to the point of tears sometimes. But at the same time, I feel so so deeply, I just can't do anything about it a lot of the time, and not for lack of trying either. When I can actually pick up on it, I can feel deeper for others than I can myself. I've speculated in the past that I have autism, and never really thought anything of it, I just brushed it off and carried on. More recently, it's felt more and more like something I need to confront and deal with. Anyway, when I was off on my little suicide mission, I had a moment of clarity and I stopped. I turned my phone back on, and listened to the voicemail that my fiancée had left me and it absolutely broke my heart. She was so scared, and hurt, and confused and could barely speak for crying and it wrote me off. For a moment, I had a flash of confusion, which quickly turned to anger and self loathing. How could she love me? I'm so obsessed with perfection, but I am so imperfect, the exact opposite of the thing I've spent my entire life chasing, and trying to be. But as quickly as the anger came on, it dissolved. All I wanted to do was go home and make her feel better. I've always said that her happiness is my happiness, and I'll probably always stand by that. I went home, had a chat with the police, went with the ambulance crew to the hospital, spoke to the mental health teams, and went home to her. I felt so much remorse. We have regular mental health check ups with each other anyway, but that night we really talked a lot, about what I want, why I can't ever do anything for myself and the general day to day struggled that I have, and ups and downs that I have, and how to deal with my autism better. She also tried to work out how to love me better, which made me kinda sad, because there's no way she could do more for me than she already does, but she vowed to stick to it nonetheless. I've always believed her when she tells me she loves me, but somehow I believe her more now than ever.

I'm so glad I didn't go through with ending my life last week. I've experienced so many beautiful moments in this last 8 days alone. Things that would seem small and insignificant to some, but have been amazing and beautiful and really meaningful to me.

The first day after everything that happened, we spent the day at home together, mostly in bed. Just being in each others company. She held me and kept me calm for most of the day. Just the pure warmth and innocence of naked skin to skin contact was amazing. Jen sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the window, and as the sun was setting, I noticed the way the skin touched her skin and outlined her body, and it was truly an amazing thing to watch, so much so that I had to capture it. Her silhouette looked perfect against the dusk sky. I had a really profound feeling of being grateful to survive the previous afternoon, else I wouldn't have lived to see that moment.

Tuesday was a really, really amazing day, start to finish. One of the best days I've had in a long long time. Once Jen got back from work, we had a parcel arrive from Ithaca, actually genuinely one of my favourite bands. When the Covid-19 lockdown started, we bought a long sleeved t-shirt from them, because A. the shirt is sick as fuck and B. just to show some love and support. To our surprise, they sent us two shirts, the one that we ordered, as well as a bonus shirt from old merch stock, as well as a sticker and a handwritten note on the back of a photo of Djamila's dog, The Ham™.

Afterwards, we got dressed and headed out to go get some food shopping, and decided to talk through the park on the way home, and came across a beautiful bed of daffodils, so of course, I had to take pictures. The one above is my favourite, of course. Jen has the most beautiful smile, especially now that I know that she's happy for real.

After we'd been home, put the shopping away and showered, we headed out again. This time, to go hunt down a good spot to try and take some good photos of the "Pink Moon". We went for a nice long walk through the woods first though. It was so quiet, all we could hear were birds singing, the water running in the stream and the ground beneath our feet.

Once we found a good spot on high ground, we sat on top of two big rocks in front of some trees, one tree in particular was a a blossom tree, and we watched the sun go down, and just sat there quietly, looking at all of the colours meld and mix in the sky.

After the sun had set, we found the best spot we could find to set up the tripod and Jen sat by for a good half an hour to 45 minutes while I tried to get the best shot I could of the moon. I am honestly so so proud of this photo, I personally think it's one of the best photos I've ever taken.

I was starting to feel as though Jen was getting bored of sitting around, while I was indulging myself, as I know I often get carried away and absorbed when I'm doing something creative, and starting to feel like I should wrap things up, but instead, she took a big interest in what I was doing, and took the time and effort to get involved in what I was doing. She came and sat with me, and asked me questions about how my camera worked, and gave it a try for herself. I remember watching her try, and adjust, and try again and I remember feeling so much love, and feeling so proud of her. No one has ever gone out of their way to involve themselves in something that I love doing the way she did, and that memory, and that picture will stick with me forever.

This is just a bonus picture of Jen, because I thought she looked really beautiful under the glow of the streetlights and the moon. 😍

The day after/yesterday, after Jen came home from work, we spend another afternoon in bed together, to have some alone time. While the sex was amazing, as it usually is, that isn't the moment that sticks out for me, it's this one, in the photo. This might be grim, or kinda gross or just too much information for some, but I don't care. Now, ever since we have been together, both of us have become more comfortable body hair, periods, and pretty much everything that our bodies do naturally and we both find it beautiful. Something I've noticed, as well, is that people don't generally tend to talk much about grooming, especially when it comes to helping your partner groom and helping your partner with self care. Well, recently, we both decided to shave together, which is something both of us had to do before to please others, even though I never really liked it. However, this time is was different. Anyway, I have quite sensitive skin, and naturally, I get a lot of ingrown hairs, this time around have had a lot and it's been very uncomfortable and at times quite painful. When we were lay in bed together, I was in a bit of discomfort with it, and without batting an eyelid, Jen picks up the tweezers, heads back down there and starts removing and relieving all of the ingrown hairs. This really sticks out to me as a really beautiful moment. She was so gentle, and I was so comfortable that I felt no pain at all. I've never met anybody who treats my body with such care and respect before as she does, and she protects and looks after it better than I do. I remember being filled with love, and I felt like it was such an intimate moment, but a gentle, innocent kind of intimacy and it was beautiful. Another moment that will stay with me for a long, long time.

Later on in the evening, we went out for another walk, this time to go and meet Jen's mother and collect some food that she had got for us. On the way there, we came across a beautiful cherry blossom tree. Cherry blossoms are both of our favourite flowers, we absolutely adore them, so I wanted to photograph them, but I'm not a tall person and the tree was very high, so I couldn't reach to get a good close up photo of the flowers. Within seconds, she gave me a piggy back and hoisted me up high so I could get close enough to take this photo. We must've looked crazy to onlookers, but it was like we were the only two people in the world.

If I had gone through with ending my life last week, I would've missed out on all of these precious moments. As I said, they may seem small or insignificant to some, but to me, they hold so much weight and meaning. All of that would've been gone, within a split second of being overwhelmed.

Jennifer Stephanie Riddell, I wouldn't be here without you. I love you, so so much, more than words will ever be able to say. I can't wait to become your wife, so that everyday for the rest of our lives, we can carry on making beautiful memories out of the little things. Every day, you give me a reason to feel love and feel grateful for being alive. I hope you realise how special you are to me, and how meaningful it is to spend my life with you, however big or small the moment is.

[ch1ld-0f-the-w0rld]

Hello everyone!! I am back, and as promised I am posting the rest of my "spreads" for this month". This is a sleep log as you can see, I got the design idea from Pinterest but forgot to pin it so I can't find the source anymore 😭I'm sorry. As you can see I've already started to fill it out, the bottom is blank because I'm not sure what exactly I want to put there, but when I fill it out I'll show you guys. And yes, that is a Jackson Wang sticker in the top corner 😌

Moving on...

My mood tracker which I personally love. This is probably the most important for me and I must really try to do my best to fill it out everyday, as accurately as possible. Yes, I did write the names of the colors so I wouldn't forget 😅. Recommendations for what other moods to track are extremely welcome!! So thank you to anyone who comments in advance.

The idea for this one comes from this picture:

I got it from Pinterest, but it was pinned from Instagram. However, I couldn't find the original picture anymore so 🤷‍♀️

And finally my weekly spread. Usually people do this at the start of the week, but since I am starting today, I've decided to just go with the flow and see how it goes. Honestly I did what fit in the page the way I wanted as I'm still not sure what else I want to track or write about..

It looks so big because this is a scrapbook? Drawing pad? Whatever, you get what I'm talking about. Also, yes, that is whiteout. Since this is a blog about my progress I don't really want to hide my mistakes, is a part of learning and getting better. And I realize I'm probably never going to use this color notecard because it is TOO BRIGHT!! I felt like I was going blind a little; also, you can't really appreciate the colors I'm using.

The main points that I want to record on a daily basis here are: water intake, a quote a day and top 5 songs of the day. Why top 5 songs you may be wondering? Because the music that makes it to the list is most likely a really good reflection of how my day went or how I felt during the day.

I hope to be able to figure out my life a bit more so I have more things I feel confident tracking.

[topicprinter]

I never imagined that anyone would actually want to buy my art!I have always been a creative person, but I never took art classes or formally studied art. Though I have spent years learning techniques, watching videos, and reading books, I never really considered myself a “real” artist because I never formally took classes or studied art.Imposter syndrome is real.I attempted to create blogs, websites, and my first Etsy shop to showcase my art, but these attempts were not successful. At the time, I had no idea how to market myself. Instead, I just internalized it and felt that my art wasn’t good enough.How could I possibly sell my work when there are thousands of others out there with more impressive techniques and more experience?Many years later, I invested more in my art and in myself. I decided to try Etsy again. This time, I spent a significant amount of time researching strategies.I decided to sell stickers, even though it is still a competitive market. I read and read and READ countless strategies and recommendations for getting sales on Etsy…and it worked!The sketches I doodled in my notebook in college while lamenting over the fact that my art was “mediocre at best” ended up becoming best sellers. I haven’t necessarily reached a huge milestone, but my shop has grown a lot, and I’m proud of it!For anyone interested, here are a few tips that have helped me:Photos are EVERYTHINGPeople are visual creatures. When they shop online, they are giving up their ability to physically hold something. They can’t visualize the product’s size and dimensions in the same way. It's your job to convince them of your product's quality! Product photography should do more than just convey dimensions, but should sell a lifestyle.On reddit, I posted a photo of my rainbow "f-- off" stickers with a funny caption, and my sales skyrocketed. Your photos and accompanying text should be carefully crafted.You should invest in photography if you want to grow your business. I recommend buying or creating a light box and getting some decent light sources. These items don't need to be expensive. But it truly makes a difference.Establish credibilityPeople don’t buy from just anyone. It doesn’t matter if the product costs $1.People are more inclined to buy from shops that they trust. And successful shops look like they are run by professionals. You should seek to make your business look as professional and credible as possible.You should have policies clearly outlined, an About section that shows the audience your expertise in your niche, regular announcements and product updates, and informative product descriptions.Be consistent with your online presence. Shops that don’t post new products regularly or engage with customers regularly don’t do as well as the shops that do.Search engine optimization (SEO) is highly importantBasically, the only way your products will be seen is if your products are displayed when people type in specific keywords. Even then, products are ranked on a page. If your tags are keywords that people rarely ever search for, your products are not going to be seen by anyone.You want to do some research on keywords to determine which keywords people are actually using to search for something. Tools like eRank and Marmalead are great for this.Some keywords are highly competitive and have a ton of people searching for them. It can be difficult to get your products seen with highly competitive keywords like this because so many other shops are using the same keywords (a lot of competition).It is a good strategy to use some medium-engagement keywords. These are keywords that have a good volume of searches, but there is not as much competition with other sellers.A combination of medium-engagement and more competitive keywords can make a difference. Even if you are using paid advertising, having good SEO will make your advertisements reach more people.Give something backI’m not necessarily advocating for people to undervalue their work or give everything away for free. However, showing some generosity and helping others goes a long way.People are more likely to engage with your business if they feel valued by it. I have regularly hosted free sticker giveaways on my Instagram, and this tactic has brought in new customers and new followers.I also post on r/Etsy and other subreddits often, and I have offered shop critiques/specific advice to other sellers. Just having an online presence can do wonders in establishing credibility and trust.Anyway, I hope this has helped somebody out there!